Tonight, I completed a journey.
I ran/jogged/walked 3.2 miles at midnight with my daughter, one of my best friends of 25 years and her daughter. It was 3.2 miles on paper but it was so much more to me.
As I walked/jogged the journey, with Dusty ahead of me – yelling and cheering and pushing me – I left so many things on that concrete.
I left the anger and frustrations of being overweight and this constant struggle. I’m not angry anymore. I am motivated. I have to simply accept this is my burden. But this is not something I cannot face – or beat. I am overweight. I have been most of my life. But its in my control. With every step down the road tonight, I simply kept telling myself that I am in control. I am going to succeed this time.
I left the excuses behind. There is always going to be bad days, birthday parties, and sore muscles. There is always going to be stresses and ups and downs and vacations. But after the setbacks happen, there is always another day. There is always another moment for me to step up and start over. One bad day or birthday party isn’t going to erase all of my success. And its not going to set me back anymore either.
I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for and tonight I proved it to myself. I have amazing people in my life who believe in me and yet, somehow I have failed to believe in myself. That is changing.
And while I left things behind, I realized so many things as well.
I am so strong. I can do anything I put my mind to. Absolutely anything. I can walk a 5K at midnight and complete it in under an hour. I can do Zumba or spinning or step class. I can lose 43 pounds in four months and keep going. And a year from now, I can complete another 5K and RUN it.
Once I got to the race tonight, I was scared. I covered it well with laughter and dancing in the parking lot but I was scared. I didn’t want to finish last (which I didn’t…..I beat about six people!). I didn’t want to let myself down. I didn’t want to let my trainer down and my friends and family down who have cheered and supported me tirelessly. I didn’t want to fail at all – I wanted to succeed.
I have known for a long time how amazing my family and friends are but tonight it was just concreted even more. The entire race Dusty was right with me and she kept cheering me along. Khrista ran with Nevada – and even carried her – for a little ways. And when I came to the finish line, my parents were there to see me cross. I had already started to tear up as I came near the finish line but seeing them made it complete.
I started this journey with my parents by my side and having them there at the finish line was perfect. Once I started crying enough to tell them I was ok and not hurting, it was a beautiful moment. It was a beautiful moment hugging Khrista who did it with me – not because running a 5K is something every college freshman wants to do on New Year’s Eve but because she loves me and wanted to be there for me. And Dusty and I shared a moment before we came around the final bend, a moment that was 25 years in the making and for both of us assured us that this is going to be a different year for us both.
Tomorrow I will rest. And Saturday, I will head for the gym. Because in 364 more days, I have a race to run. And I mean RUN.
I ran/jogged/walked 3.2 miles at midnight with my daughter, one of my best friends of 25 years and her daughter. It was 3.2 miles on paper but it was so much more to me.
As I walked/jogged the journey, with Dusty ahead of me – yelling and cheering and pushing me – I left so many things on that concrete.
I left the anger and frustrations of being overweight and this constant struggle. I’m not angry anymore. I am motivated. I have to simply accept this is my burden. But this is not something I cannot face – or beat. I am overweight. I have been most of my life. But its in my control. With every step down the road tonight, I simply kept telling myself that I am in control. I am going to succeed this time.
I left the excuses behind. There is always going to be bad days, birthday parties, and sore muscles. There is always going to be stresses and ups and downs and vacations. But after the setbacks happen, there is always another day. There is always another moment for me to step up and start over. One bad day or birthday party isn’t going to erase all of my success. And its not going to set me back anymore either.
I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for and tonight I proved it to myself. I have amazing people in my life who believe in me and yet, somehow I have failed to believe in myself. That is changing.
And while I left things behind, I realized so many things as well.
I am so strong. I can do anything I put my mind to. Absolutely anything. I can walk a 5K at midnight and complete it in under an hour. I can do Zumba or spinning or step class. I can lose 43 pounds in four months and keep going. And a year from now, I can complete another 5K and RUN it.
Once I got to the race tonight, I was scared. I covered it well with laughter and dancing in the parking lot but I was scared. I didn’t want to finish last (which I didn’t…..I beat about six people!). I didn’t want to let myself down. I didn’t want to let my trainer down and my friends and family down who have cheered and supported me tirelessly. I didn’t want to fail at all – I wanted to succeed.
I have known for a long time how amazing my family and friends are but tonight it was just concreted even more. The entire race Dusty was right with me and she kept cheering me along. Khrista ran with Nevada – and even carried her – for a little ways. And when I came to the finish line, my parents were there to see me cross. I had already started to tear up as I came near the finish line but seeing them made it complete.
I started this journey with my parents by my side and having them there at the finish line was perfect. Once I started crying enough to tell them I was ok and not hurting, it was a beautiful moment. It was a beautiful moment hugging Khrista who did it with me – not because running a 5K is something every college freshman wants to do on New Year’s Eve but because she loves me and wanted to be there for me. And Dusty and I shared a moment before we came around the final bend, a moment that was 25 years in the making and for both of us assured us that this is going to be a different year for us both.
Tomorrow I will rest. And Saturday, I will head for the gym. Because in 364 more days, I have a race to run. And I mean RUN.
