Moving Down the Road

Today I accomplished a lot. And it all happened while sitting on a small, very hard bicycle seat. I rode 47 miles today and just may have found something myself I didn’t know I had.

 

So here is my secret. I am so incredible insecure about my abilities. I talk a big game. I am supportive of everything I know and I am truly supportive of my students, friends and family. I know they can achieve anything they set their minds to. And yet somehow, I seem to lack that same desire myself.

 

Well today, I just may have realized I could do the same thing. I signed up for this race to ride with my friends. I have ridden 20 miles several times and wanted to see if I could actually ride 45 miles. I had no idea if I could. And truly, I was pretty sure that I probably wouldn’t be able to. But I figured it would be a good first try. There would be SAG trucks and if I simply couldn’t go on, I knew they would help me out. And while I talk a huge game, it wasn’t until mile 32 or 34 that I really honestly realized that I was going to ride 45 miles (which was really 47).

 

It’s pretty much a metaphor for most of us. We talk a bit game but do we really believe in ourselves? When we say, we are going to do this or that, what keeps us from really believing it? I think that pride can be good – because sometimes it may be what gets us to the finish line – but I wonder what would happen if we actually believed in what we could achieve to begin with?

 

I know we have all failed before. We all have different battles… mine is with food and fitness. I know that the people in my life have all dealt and continue to deal with different burdens. And all of us, no doubt, have struggled with those. But I want to stop believing that my failures in the past are going to keep me from achieving goals in my future. I don’t want to be the girl that makes promises and plans without really believing in myself that I accomplish those plans from the get-go. I want to know when I set out to ride 47 or 100 miles or run 10 miles or run 26 miles that I will really be able to accomplish it. I want to really believe wholeheartedly that I will get to my goal weight one day and be able to maintain it.

 

Having these experiences and ah-ha moments don’t cure all. But they surely help start me on the right path. So what are you going to believe in today?

Embracing the Role

            As I logged in to blog today, I was shocked it had been over a month since I last blogged. So many challenges have come and gone since I last blogged. I successfully made it through musical week, through Christmas and New Year’s and even through a New Year’s Eve Cruise for five days and still came out on the losing side. It’s pretty empowering to know that I can still live my life like I want to live it – which includes cocktails and an occasional Mexican food dinner and still lose and maintain the weight loss I have accomplished.

            But that being said, it’s not without worry that I have lived this past month. I still had a fear every time I got onto the scale after one of those minor indiscretions. I was fearful after Mexican food and especially fearful after our cruise. But through it all, the scale stayed friendly with me mostly. And while logically I know that I’m not going to gain 115 pounds back with one meal or four days of cruise dining room meals, it still does induce fear. Mainly because I don’t want to ever go back. Secondly, because there is always the fear of losing my way.

            I accomplished a big personal goal yesterday. I ran my first 5K. I had done a 5K several years ago, when I had lost a large amount of weight before, but I hadn’t trained properly and I ran very little of it. But yesterday, I jogged the entire race. I even jogged some extra as I followed some chalk arrows left over from a previous race that added some mileage to my path. (Fitting somehow). I accomplished this goal despite the fact that I had returned the day before from a cruise and despite the fact that it was raining and cold. From the first 200 yards, my feet were wet and my toes were squishing around in my shoes. But none of this stopped me or discouraged me. My best friend, who drove to the Woodlands with me to run the race, kept telling me on the drive (in the rain at 5:45 AM) that he was so impressed with my determination - and this from a man who has known me since I was 15.

            For me, jogging has become therapy. And along the trail of this race I started pacing with two women who were also completing the race. One had lost 40 lbs and was working on the couch to 5K plan that I had done. The other one was on her way back from gaining 40 lbs since her healthy days of years past. She wasn’t much older than me and she confided that she had had a heart attack.

            So as we jogged and shared our stories, I was empowered. I have said all along that I was a very hesitant role model. That I was scared to be an inspiration because I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t want to fail because I felt like I would let everyone down who has supported me and loved me along this path so far. I don’t want to be the girl who for the third time gets off track and gains her weight back again.

            But somewhere during those 3.5 miles in the rain, I realized that I was looking at things backwards. I was planning for my failure. I was reluctant to be an inspiration because I was scared of disappointing people instead of embracing this role and using it to drive me. As the rain dripped off my hat onto my face, I found myself telling my new friends, that I was ready to embrace my role. This is my platform. This was the burden that God gave me and he gave me a voice to help others.

            This being said, I am not planning to quit my job and embark on a new life as a personal trainer. But I am not going to be so hesitant to share my story. Writing on here has been cathartic and yet safe because I pretty much know all of you who read my blog. I know that y’all are my friends and family who love me and support me. But being completely transparent with the world is a little scarier. But I honestly feel like this is my path. I am going to be a bit more open about everything. It’s not about losing weight, its about being healthy. It’s about not relying on fast food and junk food. It’s about enjoying the amazing food that grows naturally. It’s about being good role models to the students I teach and the kids in my life. Basically, I feel so amazing. I want everything to feel this way.

            I will get to test this new idea for me in January at TETA. I ended up on a panel about living a healthy lifestyle while being a theater teacher. As I created my slides for the group presentation today, I listed my starting weight. I could have just included a picture and let that be it. But that’s not transparent. It’s time to come clean. It’s time to be that person that shares the truth – even the ugly and embarrassing parts. Because each time I do, I become a little stronger.

The Traveling Trap

            I have a confession to make. I may play fearless on Facebook but truth be told, each and every time I get on the scale – I am terrified. It doesn’t matter what I have done right that week. It doesn’t matter how much exercise I have done. I am still scared. I am scared that for some reason, it won’t work that time. I know it’s irrational because I understand the science of losing weight. But being logical doesn’t necessarily cure irrationality.

            So this morning, when I got on the scale, I was really terrified. I hadn’t weighed since Wednesday and I was scared. I didn’t completely blow off everything this weekend but I did enjoy my trip. I did drink a few (read: many) glasses of wine. I did eat queso. I did eat wedding cake (although I shared it with D). I was scared because although I did mostly eat well and I still managed to jog twice while I was gone, I just didn’t know how my body would respond to it all.

            Well, I got up this morning, jogged and weighed. And I had lost another 3 pounds since I weighed last Wednesday. So even though I enjoyed my trip, I still lost. So being me, I’m going to share some things I’ve learned. As always, I write my blog to process my thoughts. What works for me, won’t necessarily work for everyone. I’ve had several people ask me lately for advice on how to lose weight. And all I can do is share what has worked for me. But nothing is the same for everyone. So if you are on your own journey, please know that you have to go through a lot of trial and error. You have to experiment. You have to enjoy the ups and get through the downs.

            So on to my tips to avoid the Traveling Trap.

1)      Prepare and plan as much as you can! My first real trip happened about four weeks into the injection part of this diet. I put immense planning and preparation into that trip. I looked up grocery stores. I made plans for group meals with my professor. But the first tip I learned was kind of accidental. I had my water bottle that I took everywhere. And the morning we were to fly out to Chicago, I had brought it along when I left the house that morning. I carried it into the airport and it wasn’t until I was in the security line that I realized I still had water in it. So I downed it and carried the empty bottle through security. Once I got to the other side, I went to a coffee place and ordered an ice tea. The woman at the counter saw my water bottle and offered to fill it up for me. Having my water bottle with me keeps me from cheating at the airport. It keeps me from picking up a bag of skittles like I used to do. It’s comfortable and my norm and so even sitting in an airport for a few hours still has the feel of normal. Not all places offer to fill up your water bottle but they have all given me ice when I ordered a drink from them. It doesn’t hurt to ask. Especially if it helps you.

2)      Bring or buy something that will help you. In Chicago, I went to the grocery store and ate breakfast and lunch in my room each day. This weekend I went to Wal-mart and bought fruit and snacks to carry with me. I have requested refrigerators in hotel rooms and I have taken everything out of mini-fridges before. I have found that if you tell people that you have dietary concerns in the travel industry – they will work with you. It’s ok to ask for help.

3)      KEEP moving. If you have time, jog or go to the hotel gym. If not, just walk more. Walk the airport. Take the stairs at the hotel instead of the elevator. Take the stairs instead of the escalator at the airport. Just keep moving. I’ve found that just because I’m on vacation, doesn’t mean that I don’t still want to exercise. When I got to Arkansas this past weekend, my friend told me where a great jogging trail was. I couldn’t find it but passed a large, old university and found a parking lot and jogged it. I found that I really enjoyed the jog because the scenery was completely different. When I jog at home, I often just jog the same trail. So seeing something different broke up any monotony. And because I kept moving and still got exercise in, I could have my glasses of wine and still be successful.

4)      Relax. I think this is the hardest part of traveling. When I stress, I eat. So I had to learn to just relax this time. Yes, I knew that I couldn’t be in complete control of each and every meal. But for the first time this trip, I just realized that it was ok. I would do the best I could. I would pick smart at restaurants, while still enjoying my trip. And in the end, it turned out alright.

 

I know these all sound really simple and maybe they are. But they are lessons that I’ve had to learn and that I have learned. I’d love to hear what works for everyone else too! For my friends that travel a lot for work, what do you do to stay in control while traveling?

 

 

A Plateau, a new lifestyle (and addiction), a reluctant expert, and a few more recipes

A Plateau

So I'm stuck. I haven't lost a pound in a week. I've been here before. In fact, the other two times that I lost this much weight, I plateaued here and I got frustrated and I stopped. So I somewhat expected it. But it still makes me mad.

The difference is that I put my mind to getting past it this time. I went to the Internet and started reading about how to break plateaus.

I've learned a lot. I don't weigh until Thursday but I think I'm going to bust right through this. I've added some fiber into my diet. One of the things I read was how important fiber is and eating so low carb I realized that I am getting very very little fiber daily. So Fiber One to the rescue and we will see if we can get things moving.

I'm also working on zig-zagging my calories. I'm still eating the same amount of calories weekly but when I went back and looked at the past two weeks, I've eaten within 20 calories of the same amount each day. My body is used to it. So it's time to shake things up.

I have told people in conversations lately that when you hit plateaus, you just have to push through. And then I hit my first major one. So I will take my own advice and push through. I can't let this small freeze take away from the amazing success I have had the past four months. Instead I am going to have a different reaction this time and I am going to let it motivate me.

A New Lifestyle (and addiction)

I was talking to my sister the other day and commented that I don't feel like I am on a diet. This is different. I have always felt deprived while dieting. I have always resenting my situation. But this time, I don't. I just feel like I am living a healthy lifestyle.

I love my veggie co-op. I love cooking each night and I take great joy in preping my meals each night for the next day. I like that I shop the outsides of a grocery store and that when I open a cookbook, I can cook about anything in it from what I have in the house. I don't miss the days of coming home and not having anything to eat in the house and ordering out. I don't miss fast food. I (mostly) don't miss Dr. Pepper. And I don't resent that I have changed my ways. I love fresh veggies. And most importantly, I love how I feel.

And I love that I have started jogging. I love the rush I get when I've jogged a full mile or 20 minutes at a time. I love that I can go out for 30 or 45 minutes, jog and come home and feel like I've had a 2 hour workout. I like that my body feels better and I love the feeling when my abs tell me that I've done something right. I love everything about it. I'm training for a 5K in January. I plan to jog the entire thing. I can jog 20 minutes and over a mile in one stretch now. I'm making progress each night. I feel my stress melt away when I am jogging the neighborhood. I love that I don't have to go anywhere to get the workout except out my front door. Everything about it is thrilling and wonderful to me. I love that my knees and body doesn't hurt with every step when I'm out jogging. I love sweating and getting icky. I love everything about it. I've always said that I want to run a marathon one day. Now, with every mile that I jog, I can honestly feel that that is a goal that I can achieve some day. I like having hope.

A reluctant expert

Let me tell you a secret. I feel incredible inadequate to give people advice on how to lose weight. I don't feel worthy. I don't feel like I deserve the attention and praise. And its a bit scary.

I don't want to be the person who had great advice and then gained her weight back. I want to be the person that won't. I want to be the person that shows her before pictures ten years from now and has kept the weight off. I feel inadequate to post my success. I do it because my friends and family give me more drive that I could ever muster from within myself. Yet, I don't want to be the obnoxious girl that is always giving advice. I feel like its a really dangerous line that I walk.

And I say all this to say that I thank everyone who supports me. I'm not doing this alone. My sister and Charleston help me and cheer for me and try my food and ask me and push me. They do amazing things like hide cookies in the house so I won't be tempted by one of my favorite foods. They love me and they know what to do to to help me navigate these new waters.

My family and friends are also amazing. They notice things and take me in consideration when we are deciding what to eat. They know this is important. They are willing to take chances with me. They are cheerleaders.

And my school family - including my students - are so incredibly important. My debaters watch me at tournaments-- which is times when I am tired and stressed and need to be monitored - to make sure that I am eating right. They give me ideas at school. They compliment me. They can't wait to celebrate with me when I hit 100 pounds. They look up low-carb peanut butter cookie recipes on my birthday so that I can have my favorite cookie for my birthday - and not cheat.

And every friend on Facebook that has ever cheered for me is appreciated. I hope that I give back to the relationship. I hope that you try my recipes (which I no doubt stole from somewhere) and that I can answer questions if I know the answer. I appreciate you supporting me and letting me live my life outloud and transparently. And I love that I know its a safe place to do so.

I list all these people because I am not doing this alone. Yes, I look up recipes and I jog the pavement at night alone but I am not alone at all. I have an amazing support group and loves me and lifts me up and supports me. I may have advice for what has worked for me - but it's just advice. I don't feel worthy of helping anyone. Maybe someday. Maybe its my hangups. Maybe its just fear. But regardless, I do what I can. I lift people up. I share recipes. And I just hope I am right.

And a few more recipes --

Low-carb/low fat Spinich Artichoke Dip

2 cups non-fat parmesan cheese
16 ounches fress spinach, chopped
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 (14 ounce) jar artichoke hearts, drained
2/3 cup fat free sour cream
1 cup fat free cream cheese
1/3 cup fat-free mayo
2 garlic cloves, crushed and minced

1. Mix parmeasean cheese, spinach, artichoke hearts and spices.
2. Combine remaining ingredients and mix spinach mixture.
3. Put in baking dish and bake for 20-30 minutes at 375 degrees.

(I ate mine with celery!)

Baked Kale Chips

fresh kale (torn from thick stems)
evoo or olive oil cooking spray
salt

1. Tear all the kale leaves from the really thick stems.
2. Place the kale all over a cookie sheet. Spray it well with olive oil. Salt it.
3. Bake at 290 for about 20 minutes or until it starts to get crunchy. When you take it out, it will get crunchier.
4. Enjoy! It doesn't keep well overnight (doesn't keep its crunch) so eat it that day!

Roasted Beet and Feta Salad

This is a huge favorite in my house and one of my students made it and its a huge favorite in her house now too. I'm slowly making beet fans.

bunch of fresh beets
fat free feta cheese
green onions

1. Peel and cut the beets. Cut them in small cubes.
2. Toss the beets in a small amount of evoo and salt and spread them out on a cookie sheet.
3. Bake for about 40 minutes at 350 degrees until they are a bit crunch on the outside and soft on the inside. (I can eat them just like this out of the oven....and in fact we do for dinner occasionally).
4. Chop a green onion.
5. Mixed baked beets, green onions and about 3/4th of cup of fat free feta cheese.
6. Put about two-three tablespoons of lemon juice on the mixture.
7. Refridgerate!

Carrot and Beet Chips

Carrots
Beets
Parsnips
EVOO

1. Peel each veggie.
2. Slice the veggies rather thin.
3. Toss in a little EVOO and salt.
4. Place in a single layer on a cookie sheet. (I cover the cookie sheet with foil for easier cleanup).
5. Bake at 350 for about 25-30 minutes. Watch the veggies for when the edges start to curl up.
6. Take out and let them sit for a few minutes. They will get crunchier.

Enjoy!

LETTUCE WRAPS

This is another favorite. I've added Chinese Five Spice to mine and it adds a sweetness to it. If you double the recipe, it makes a LOT of food. It also keeps really well to take for lunches over a week or so!

1 pound ground chicken
1 can water chestnuts, drained
1 cup sliced mushrooms
5 scallions
5 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons Splenda
1/2 teaspoon of blackstrap molasses
1 1/2 teaspoon of minced garlic
1 1/2 teaspoons rice vinegar
3 tablespoon of oil

1. Place water chestnuts, mushrooms and scallions in a food processor. Pulse enough to chop everything to a medium consistency.
2. Combine soy sauce, Splenda, molasses, garlic and rice vinegar. Set aside.
3. Heat the oil in a wok or skillet over highest heat. Add the chicken and stir-fry, breaking it up as it cooks.
4. Once the chicken is mostly cooked, add the chopped veggies and stir-fry everyting together for a few more minutes. When chicken is cooked, add soy sauce mixture and let everything cook together for a few more minutes.
5. Wrap the mixture up in large pieces of lettuce and enjoy.

A few of my new food tricks

** I put pork rines in the food processor to make bread crumbs. Pork Rines have no carbs and are low-fat. They make a great breading to pan-fry or bake!

** I stir fry mushrooms and fresh spinich all the time in a little olive oil or soy sauce. I put it on top of chicken, in a low-carb tortilla, etc.

** I LOVE LOVE LOVE Chinese Five Spice. I find myself putting it on everything.

A few of my favorite recipes....

So as you all know, I'm addicted to cooking. Completely, ridiculously, addicting to cooking. I spend the spare minutes at school thinking about what I am cooking for dinner that night. I find myself in the grocery store more than ever before. I LIVE for the every other Wednesday when I get my veggie co-op (oh, yes... Bok Choy is in the next order!). And as such, I posted pictures of my food online quite a bit. So here are a few of my favorite recipes. I've stolen from lots of places. I've changed some to make them mine.

So make them your own.

Enjoy!

Our Debate Evening appetizers included-- (and yes, I created my own goofy names)

"All-American" Asparagus

bundle of asparagus
bacon

I took three stalks of asparagus and wrapped them tightly with two slices of bacon. I then grilled them on the George Foreman for about 12 minutes, spraying the foreman with spray olive oil!

Stars and Stripes Stuffed Mushrooms

1 lb of whole mushrooms
1/2 cup chopped onions
4 cloves crushed garlic
spinich (I used 4 cups of fresh baby spinich, cut into strips -- recipe calls for frozen)
4 ounces cream cheese (I used fat free)
salt and pepper
1 1/2 worcestershire sauce
parmesan cheese

1. Clean the mushrooms and pull the stalks out of the mushrooms.
2. chop the stalks and onions and saute them with spray olive oil (or butter as the recipe calls for) in a frying pan.
3. When they get soft, add garlic and then spinich.
4. Saute it all together until the mixture is well-mixed and cooked.
5. Add the cream cheese and mix as it melts.
6. Add salt and pepper and worchesthire sauce.
7. Stuff the mixture into the clean mushrooms. Top with grated parmesan cheese.
8. Bake for about 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

Cranky Old Men Crabby Bites

1 can of crab, drained
1 scallion, finely minced
1/2 pound bacon

1. Flake the crab. Mix the scallion with the crab.
2. Cut the bacon strips into two shorter strips.
3. Spoon a spoonful of the crab mixure to the end of each bacon strip and wrap the bacon around the crab.
4. Secure the wraps with a toothpick.
5. Broil for 10 minutes turning them over 1-2 times.

Note: I added a tablespoon of feta cheese to have of the mixture. They were really good as well.

Dipping "Duck Sauce"

1 bag of frozen peaches (1 pound)
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons of Splenda
salt
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 clove garlic

Mix all in a sauce pan. Bring to a boil and them simmer for 30 minutes until fruit is soft. Then transfer to a blender and mix the sauce until smoother.

Now to a few of my favorites....

Baked Parsnips

parsnips
salt
pepper

1. peel parsnips and cut french fry style.
2. Put in oven baking dish and spray with spray olive oil. Bake for 45 minutes to an hour until soft.
3. Once soft, take out and sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste.
4. Eat warm-- heavenly!!

Stuffed Peppers

4 colored bell peppers
1 pound of lean turkey or ground beef
1 packet of taco seasoning
1/2 cup of low-fat or fat free ricotta cheese
3-4 tablespoons of tomato sauce

1. Cut off the top of the bell peppers and clean out the seeds.
2. Brown the meat. Once cooked, add the taco seasoning and tomato sauce until the meat is covered.
3. Once the seasoning is mixed throughout, add the ricotta and mix into the mixture.
4. Once the mixture is warm and ricotta is melted, fill each pepper.
5. Top with a bit of grated parmeasan cheese.
6. Bake for 30-40 minutes.

Spinich Mushroom Tortilla Cups

low-fat, low-fat wheat tortillas
sliced mushrooms
cut onion
fresh baby spinich
mozerella cheese

1. Prepare a muffin tin. Spray tins that will be used with cooking spray. Then place a tortilla in each muffin spot.
2. Saute the mushrooms and onions with a bit of olive oil.
3. Once the mushrooms and onions are soft, add to a bowl of fresh baby spinich. Mix.
4. Add about 1/2 of mozerella. (I used low-fat). Mix.
5. Spoon the mixture into each tortilla.
6. Put a bit of cheese on the top of each tortilla cup.
7. Bake until tortillas are warm and cheese is melted.

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

one head of caulflower
1 egg
1 cup of cheese of your choice
pizza seasoning
oregano

1. Grate caulflower to grind in a food processor.
2. Put in a microwavable dish and microwave for 8 minutes.
3. After you microwave it, add one egg and mix throughly.
4. Add cheese and mix throughly.
5. Add spices to your liking.
6. Spread out on a baking sheet which has been sprayed with cooking spray.
7. Bake 12-15 minutes until firm and browning.
8. Take out and cover with your favorite toppings.
9. Put back in the over to melt cheese, etc.

I hope yall enjoy! Some of these aren't real exact because that's kind of how I cook! Just experiement and see what you can do!

What I've learned....

So here I am. I've lost nearly 75 pounds, which is about a third of the way I need to go to get to my goal weight. And this time feels different. Of course, the previous times I've lost weight, I've felt good. I enjoyed the exercise benefits and the smaller clothes sizes. But those changes were temporary that time. I look back and I don't know if I really learned the lessons I needed to learn to finish the goal - and sustain it once I got there. I want to think this time is different. So here are a few things that I've learned.

1) Exercise is important - but its not an all or nothing equation.
         In the past, I worked out 5-7 times a week. I would take it very hard if something got into the way of my daily workouts. In my warped sense, if I missed any workouts - at the gym - I simply failed my goals that day. But lets face it - that is unrealistic and NOT something we can live as a lifestyle change. There are going to be booster club meetings and debate tournaments. There are goign to be family social gatherings and birhtday parties. And those things are part of living my life. So yes, exercise is important and I love the benefits, but I'm not a failure if I don't go 5 times a week. Everytime I exercise is a success and is helping me towards my goal. I still play about 4 workouts a week. And when the stars align and my kids get picked up on time, etc, I go to the gym and do Zumba or aqua aerobics or the treadmill or Bodypump or whatever is happening that day. But sometimes, that doesn't happen. And when it doesn't, I come home and walk in my neighborhood for 30 minutes with the dogs. It still burns calories. I don't have to drive to do it. And my dogs are happy. And it clears my head. And its still a success. Exercise isn't an all or nothing thing. One time is better than nothing. A thirty minute walk around the neighborhood is a success. It's not about marking the boxes off my calendar that garners the success. It's about moving my body and seeing the results.

2) Food is my friend - not my enemy.
           As my Facebook feed shows, I'm a little obessed with cooking right now. My sister told me the other day that "this time my food doesn't suck." At first, I was a little offended but she has a point. I don't cook "diet" food this time. I just cook good food that happens to fit into a healthier eating lifestyle. I have found spices. And I love them. And I've gotten into the habit of cooking. I went grocery shopping last weekend and while putting up groceries when I got home, I realized how much my habits have changed. I had very few things to put into the pantry. Most of what I bought - my weekend groceries - went into the fridge and freezer. It was eye-opening. I wasn't putting processed foods into my pantry. And while in the grocery store, I dind't even notice it. I'm so in a good routine now in the grocery store. I spend a lot of time in the deli and in the produce section. I do shop the outer aisles of the store. I have a new personal game I play where I try to buy one fruit or veggie each week that the cashier will have to ask me what it is. The weeks I can stump them with two are great weeks! I've also enjoyed diving into the world of low-carb cooking and figuring out ways to use my favorite ingredients in a new way. It's an adventure. And its an adventure that I am enjoying the heck out of. I mean really - who would have ever imagined I would be making pizza crust from cauliflower!

3) Planning really is the key.
         I know I've known this a long time. But planning takes time. But with my lifestyle - and probably all of your lifestyles - I am never going to be successful with weight loss without heavy duty planning. Baggies are my friend. I cook a lot ahead and I pre-package in baggies that go into my top drawer in the fridge. I plan meals and I try to take stuff out of the freezer before I leave. I joined a veggie co-op which delivers veggies every other week. I take my lunch each day. On Friday's and Saturday's, I pack my big lunch kit. I pack lunch and dinner. I pack snacks. I pack tea bags and sweet-n-low. I prepare for the long tournament weekend. And I eat out of my lunch kit. If the tournament has veggies in the hosptaility room, I'll eat veggies. But other than that, I eat from my lunch kit. It's working. And I'm not going to lie, there is a certain sense of accomplishment when I actually stay away from the sweets. My life is crazy busy. But I want my life to be long. And so while its busy now, I have to keep planning so that it can be busy for years to come.

These are incredibly simple life lessons. But they are making the huge difference for me right now.

Learning to Listen

                There are so many things that go into weight loss. So many lessons to learn and so much growing and changing during the process. I’ve been fighting through it. I’m not going to lie and say its been easy. I’ve had my moments of anger, I’ve had my moments of pure frustration, I’ve had my breakdowns and I’ve had my moments of being completely proud. It’s all part of the process – part of the growing and part of the change.

                One of the most important lessons I’m learning is how to listen to my body. This is hard for me. I’ve never been really good at listening to my body. I push it physically, emotionally, mentally and I’ve treated it like crap. I’ve fed it crap for all these years. I’ve pushed myself again and again when I should have rested. I’ve eaten too much, drank too much or not eaten enough. My biggest sin is that I simply haven’t been good at listening to it.

                I realized today that this is changing. There are a lot of lessons that I’ve learned during this phase of the HCG diet. Maybe its because of the drastic measures of it that I’m finally looking and listening to what is going on. I’ve gotten in touch with what my body is telling me. The medicine that I take each morning helps me feel fuller much quicker. So in response, I’m eating a lot less. It’s weird to eat so much less than I was used to but to feel satisified and full.

                Example, I was walking through a Chicago mall today and saw a place with a great salad bar. It was lunch time so I went in and got a salad with all allowed veggies and grilled turkey. I didn’t get a big salad, just a normal sized – or so I thought. Well, halfway through the salad, I realized I was full. So I walked away from it. It was liberating. It was exciting. It was a great feeling to walk away feeling like I have accomplished something by simply listening to my body.

                In addition, after walking around and walking the mile or so back to the hotel, I came up to my room. I wanted to go to a museum. I wanted to go to Navy Pier. I wanted to do something. But my body disagreed. My body needed rest. And maybe my mind did too. So I laid down and napped. I slept harder than I have in a long long time. I listened to my body. I don’t ever do this during the school year. I push and push and push. It’s time that I stop pushing so hard. It’s time that I give in and let it be.

                I’ve learned one more lesson this week that my friend David shared with me. The first night we were here, my class went to eat deep dish Chicago-style pizza after our show. I knew that I couldn’t make that trip. I’ve gotten pretty good at eating healthy with the group and being fine with it but as pizza is my favorite food, I knew that I couldn’t do that. So I came up to my room. And I was upset. I wanted to be with my classmates. I had a little (or an ugly) pity party and went to bed.

                So the next morning I was talking to David and told him about my breakdown. He told me his story about changing his mindset and it struck me. He told me about changing his mindset about going out with friends being about the food to simply just being about spending time with your friends. There is something telling about that. I’m going to work on it. It will make it easier.

                I still have a whole lot of learning to do in this process. I have about ten days left of this stage of the diet. I’m still learning and growing each day.  And I’m feeling stronger and stronger each day.  And I am finally – at 33 years old – learning to listen.