The Future

So tonight on the elliptical, I was jamming to my favorite mix of music and thinking. Just thinking about nothing serious - just letting my mind wonder. This is my new favorite activity to do while on the ellipical or the exercise bike. I read sometimes but I have amazingly gotten to a place that I am ok just being. Just enjoying time in my head - or not even in my head. I truely try to leave stresses outside of the gym and let that be my time.

Anyways, back to my story. I was on the ellipitical and I started thinking about the future. I was daydreaming about my future husband that I will meet someday (you know - educated, a lover of the arts, funny, family-oriented) and it hit me. I was thinking about the future and I was seeing a skinny (or at least a much skinnier) me. I have often seen a thinner me in my daydreams but those visions were always cut short when my reality came crashing in on me. My reality that I have many months - if not years - ahead of me to get to that vision. It's not a bad thing - its my journey - but that reality has always been part of the problem.

And tonight - when I was jamming and sweating on the ellipitical - that reality didn't come in and crush my daydreams. I thought about that future I will have with my Mr. Right and I didn't instantly get frustrated by knowing that it would be a long time until that Kendra in my mind was a reality. It wasn't until 15 mins later that I realized what I had been doing.

I don't know what it means but I know it means something. I know that we have to focus on the milestones and little successes and I plan to. I mean I celebrate each week on Facebook and with my family when the scale is my friend. I celebrate good workouts and good torture sessions with Adrian. I celebrate my mom and dad's success. But while I celebrate the milestones as they come, I am not focused on them. I am looking to the future. There isn't a time frame on this future but I know there is a future of me as a healthier person.

And from here - I am loving what that future in my mindscape looks like.