A Catalyst

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.-- Mary Engelbreit

Usually I write about me. I write about my issues and struggles, my successes and neurosis. Today is a little different. I am going to write about you.
When I started this journey, I decided I was going to be completely transparent. I was going to post everything. I was going to be honest and not hide things. There is nothing quite like posting that you weight over 350 pounds on your Facebook for your entire world to see.
But I knew when I did, I would be accountable to a level that I hadn’t been before. And that has been the case.

What I didn’t expect was that people would say that I am an inspiration. I feel so unworthy of that. The simple truth – as least as I see it – is that I just found something inside me – a drive, a desire, a want – that has made it work this time.

And the even simpler truth – is that we all have it inside us. When my friends post and say I am an inspiration, I don’t deserve it. I am so humbled by that label. If I inspire anything, I just want them to learn how to look deep inside them selves and find what I know is there. Any of us has the ability to change, we just have to want it.

And as Engelbreit said, if we can’t change it then we need to change the way we look at it. And that is what I have done. And that is what each of us can do.

We can look at our weight struggles, or image struggles or esteem struggles as obstacles that are too daunting to ever face. When I started this journey, I was at 388 pounds. That is a huge number. It’s a daunting number. It’s easy to look at it as I would never be able to overcome it.

But this time, I didn’t look at it that way. I was finally in a better place. I was happy in Houston with my family. I was immediately surrounded by supportive people that loved me. I was in a job that allowed me a lot of time to be able to focus on myself. All of the ducks were in the correct rows. And when all of that happened, that drive and desire that I had buried all those years deep inside me was easy to access.

And this is the case for everyone. We can all find that desire. Anyone can change and grow. We all have struggles and things we want to improve upon ourselves. I truly believe that everything we need to succeed and overcome our personal obstacles is within ourselves. I was lucky enough to be in the right place to find it. I was lucky enough to have the right catalysts in my life.

And so I have one hope for my friends who hope to make positive changes in their lives be it with exercise and diet or some other area. I hope that if you are still looking for that catalyst to help you find that desire and strength within yourselves – that I can help you be that catalyst.

I’m not doing anything that hundreds of thousands of people haven’t already done for years. But if my success shows you that all of us – even us normal people with lives and families and jobs and stress – can accomplish this, then I am happy that my success has inspired you.

And if I can help you – I will. I want my struggles to help others as well. Because all of you – with your comments and support – have helped me in this journey more than I can ever thank you. I would love to repay the favor.