My Life – as a Reality Show

So this morning one of my friends posed an intriguing question on his Facebook. He asked “If your life was a reality show, what would it be called?” This got me to thinking. I can’t say it would be one show – but a mixture of many. So here goes.

Biggest Loser – Willeby Style

Of course, I have to start with the Biggest Loser. It was the motivation back in September for my family and me to start this journey. It has been a motivation for me for years. Trying out for the show two years ago was an experience that taught me more about myself in a six hour window of time than I have probably learned in spans of years. Here are a few other comparisons.

So many days, my life does look like an episode of our favorite tear-inducing show. I have a trainer, who kicks my butt regularly. Granted, he doesn’t kick my butt for six or eight hours a day, seven days a week but he still makes a huge difference.
I feel like I live at the gym. I spent between and hour and two hours there each night, depending on the day of the week. Some weeks, I think I spend more of my waking hours at the gym than I do at home.

I yell and cry about the whole process. Granted – not nearly as much. And probably not nearly as dramatically. But I do get frustrated. When I have a lousy weigh-in or a measurement that just baffles me (like last week), I get frustrated. I don’t cry and yell at my trainer or at the gym. But I have my moments – usually in solitude – where I deal with the emotional roller coaster that is major weight loss.

Top Chef – The Healthy Challenge Season

I cook a lot. I’ve gotten to where I enjoy cooking for my family. I like taking recipes and trying them. I love taking things that have long been a staple in my family’s food life and making them healthier.

Over Mother’s Day weekend, we had my family over to the house. We were celebrating Mother’s Day, my aunt and grandmother’s birthdays and my cousin’s graduation from nursing school. Mom wanted me to make cupcakes. So I did. But I didn’t just make them normal – I used a can of diet soda instead of the oil and eggs. I had always heard a lot about this ole weight watchers trick. I had read about it online. But I hadn’t tried it. It was a hit. Score a point for healthy cooking.

I love cookbooks and loving trying new fruits and vegetables. I am beyond excited about my dad’s garden because it is producing so many fresh fruits and vegetables already. I will be grilling fresh zucchini and squash tonight with our chicken for dinner.

I won’t claim that everything I cook is good – because well, I’ve had some questionable experiments. But all chef’s – even those this season on Top Chef Masters – don’t always get it right. For me the fun is in the trying to get it right and knowing that I am being so much better to my body by feeding it well.

The Tour de France – A Day in the Life of

I love spinning. If you are one of my faithful five readers, you probably have figured this one out. Or I’ve probably told you a million times by now. But it’s the truth.

I am in great shape right now. Yes, I still have 150 pounds to lose, but my heart is in good shape and I feel pretty confident in most exercise situations right now. BUT I am still a big girl. And I still have to take care of my knees and my joints – which is where spinning comes in.

On a spin bike, I’m not a 310 girl anymore. I’m a healthy, fast, STRONG rider. I can do 10 or 12 minute endurance rides (meaning standing up in the saddle the entire time) rather easily. In fact, I typically add resistance or other things to make it a little more challenging.

I don’t worry if my knee is going to go out or if my ankle is going to start hurting after spinning. I just know that I am strong and I can hang with most anyone in the class. I love this feeling. I have never before been one of the stronger ones in any aerobics class. But it’s a feeling that I love and cherish. It’s a feeling that makes me so faster and longer and harder. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

I still do a large variety of exercises - machines and classes. But I heart spinning. I look forward to spinning. I think about it when I get up in the morning. In a way, I am on my own Tour de self.

The Twilight Zone, the episode where “Everything Changes”

So much about this process and everything is surreal to me. It’s hard to believe. It’s hard to understand.

I look at myself in the mirror and I am not sure who is looking back at me sometimes. I love this woman. I like the way I look and I take a great joy in the little changes that continue to happen in my body. Recently, while on a spin bike I looked down my arm and noticed a tiny bit of definition. I mean a TINY bit. But it’s definition. And it looks great. And it still surprises me that its there.

The rational me knows that I have worked my rear off to get here. But the skeptical side of me still can’t believe its happening. I like mirrors. I look in them often. And I still find myself wondering who that person is that is looking back.

I like clothes and I am falling in love with shopping. I have gotten interested in jewelry and have even bought some costume jewelry. This is kind of a wild thing for the girl who doesn’t even wear a watch. And its going to turn into a very expensive endeavor I am sure.

I wear makeup every day. Yes, every day. It’s weird. And if you’ve known me for any length of time, you know that something major has changed in me to make me wear makeup EVERY day. It’s a shocker.

All of these things are fun and new and exciting and even though I am nine months into this process, I still can’t believe they are happening to me. Every time I step on the scale, I expect my weight to be in the 380s again. Again, logically I know it’s not going to happen. But emotionally and irrationally, I still feel like this is all a dream.

Everything has changed.

And I don’t want to wake up.