Finally Finding My Breaking Point

            I have always struggled with my weight. I have tried a lot of diets over the years and have had some success on different levels with different programs. Yet, I have never believed that my weight has kept me from living life.

            I have never let my weight keep me from anything. I really do feel like I have lived my life fully. I have worked to build a career that I am proud of. I have loved and had my heart broken. I have traveled and seen so much of the world. (But not nearly enough). I have never stayed home because I am overweight.

            And I guess at a certain level, I have always known that I would reach my limits. I have always known that eventually my size would get in the way of something I wanted to achieve.

            This has happened recently in an avalanche of moments. The first moment came when a man refused to sit next to me on an airplane on the way to New York City. And the rest of that trip continued to show me that it was time. I love New York theater and yet most of the seats that I sat in during that trip were really tight. I had a hard time keeping up in some of the walking tours. I realized that it was time – this time for real. I had let myself go and regained a lot of the weight that I lost three years ago but its time.

            Which is were the HCG and daily injections came in. Back in March, I visited my doctor for my yearly exam. There was a sign in his lobby about the HCG diet. So I went home and studied it. I then came up with a long list of questions and scheduled an appointment to ask him all my questions.

            And at that appointment, I decided I would take the leap. But yet, I still didn’t. I kept telling myself I would wait for the right now. Then school travel got in the way, then my debate schedule got in the way, then everything snowballed.

            Until New York City happened. And while I may be a hard-headed gal, I can take a sign. And I listened.

            So on Saturday morning, I started this new journey. I will inject myself with the HCG hormone each morning for forty days. And starting tomorrow – which is also the first morning of my last summer of grad school – I will eat a strict 500 calorie diet.

            I just spent the past hour measuring out and weighing out food for the week. I have about 40 something baggies that I can pick and choose from when packing my lunch in the morning. I will start going to the gym before class each morning to walk on the treadmill before class – the only exercise I can do for the next 40 days.

            While the HCG diet promises huge results, I am realistic. It’s not a cure-all. It’s a plan. It’s a start of a journey that my doctor says will take two years to get me to goal weight.

            But its worth it. I have been saying I have to find the balance for awhile and its time. I love my job and love what I do, but I really do have to reclaim a little time for me. I never want to not be able to sit into a chair in a theater. I never want to be uncomfortable why flying. My weight is effecting my life now and its time for me to change that.

            So here goes nothing.