Learning to Listen

                There are so many things that go into weight loss. So many lessons to learn and so much growing and changing during the process. I’ve been fighting through it. I’m not going to lie and say its been easy. I’ve had my moments of anger, I’ve had my moments of pure frustration, I’ve had my breakdowns and I’ve had my moments of being completely proud. It’s all part of the process – part of the growing and part of the change.

                One of the most important lessons I’m learning is how to listen to my body. This is hard for me. I’ve never been really good at listening to my body. I push it physically, emotionally, mentally and I’ve treated it like crap. I’ve fed it crap for all these years. I’ve pushed myself again and again when I should have rested. I’ve eaten too much, drank too much or not eaten enough. My biggest sin is that I simply haven’t been good at listening to it.

                I realized today that this is changing. There are a lot of lessons that I’ve learned during this phase of the HCG diet. Maybe its because of the drastic measures of it that I’m finally looking and listening to what is going on. I’ve gotten in touch with what my body is telling me. The medicine that I take each morning helps me feel fuller much quicker. So in response, I’m eating a lot less. It’s weird to eat so much less than I was used to but to feel satisified and full.

                Example, I was walking through a Chicago mall today and saw a place with a great salad bar. It was lunch time so I went in and got a salad with all allowed veggies and grilled turkey. I didn’t get a big salad, just a normal sized – or so I thought. Well, halfway through the salad, I realized I was full. So I walked away from it. It was liberating. It was exciting. It was a great feeling to walk away feeling like I have accomplished something by simply listening to my body.

                In addition, after walking around and walking the mile or so back to the hotel, I came up to my room. I wanted to go to a museum. I wanted to go to Navy Pier. I wanted to do something. But my body disagreed. My body needed rest. And maybe my mind did too. So I laid down and napped. I slept harder than I have in a long long time. I listened to my body. I don’t ever do this during the school year. I push and push and push. It’s time that I stop pushing so hard. It’s time that I give in and let it be.

                I’ve learned one more lesson this week that my friend David shared with me. The first night we were here, my class went to eat deep dish Chicago-style pizza after our show. I knew that I couldn’t make that trip. I’ve gotten pretty good at eating healthy with the group and being fine with it but as pizza is my favorite food, I knew that I couldn’t do that. So I came up to my room. And I was upset. I wanted to be with my classmates. I had a little (or an ugly) pity party and went to bed.

                So the next morning I was talking to David and told him about my breakdown. He told me his story about changing his mindset and it struck me. He told me about changing his mindset about going out with friends being about the food to simply just being about spending time with your friends. There is something telling about that. I’m going to work on it. It will make it easier.

                I still have a whole lot of learning to do in this process. I have about ten days left of this stage of the diet. I’m still learning and growing each day.  And I’m feeling stronger and stronger each day.  And I am finally – at 33 years old – learning to listen.